OKCupid just made me think. Or rather, made me pause and kinda lose all train of thought. I just checked my email and the bold subject line seemed to scream (in a rather sad tone) at me:
Laura, do you want to die alone?
They then proceeded to market to me a subpar-lookin' dude and said I should probably meet him because what if it's too late when the world ends or whatever on 12/21/12.
I've been alone for ages, OKCupid (and obvs you know this), so I think I'll take my chances. Really I wasn't offended, it was a cute ploy. But then my thoughts returned.
Did it really have to happen that the end of the world also coincides with the most "wonderful" time of year? Not only do I have to go through another Christmas of wholesome family fun with no mate to ease the pain, I also have to brave armageddon with no one to cling tightly to when the asteroid hits. And then (assuming we all survive) follow it up wondering if I'll get a kiss at midnight on New Year's, or will I look on at the happy couples with an awkward "Awww I'm so happy for you" smile and maybe shake someone's hand? Jeez guys, give the singles a break already! And by guys I mean Mayans.
Luckily I don't believe I will die alone. At least not on 12/21/12. But you never know. So just in case, I'll be enjoying this city and this single life, dancing and drinking and laughing, if it's the last thing I do.
xoxo
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
SIXTEEN Years
A while ago I was thinking about breakups and heartache and that whole depression thing you (can) feel after a relationship ends. I was thinking about how many times I've felt that and how sad it was each and every time; but at least I wasn't alone. Then I started thinking some more and it occurred to me: I've gone through breakups and heartache and that whole depression thing ever since middle school, and I still do now. That's about 16 years of breakups and heartache and that whole depression thing. Damn. At least I'm not alone.
And then I thought, "Or am I...?"
Ever since the first breakup tears left my little blue eyes in 6th grade, it's never really gotten easier, mostly just harder. And it seems I'm becoming more and more alone in crying those breakup tears.
[Disclaimer: I've happily not cried breakup tears in a while. Like, at least a couple weeks, and they were light.]
Anyway...
Being single means seeing your friends (and, like, everyone else) in multiple-year-long relationships with no breakups, heartache and that whole depression thing. Meanwhile, you're starting and ending your own relationships one or two or eight times in that same span of time. I really AM getting more and more alone in my breakups, heartache, blah blah blah. Aren't things supposed to get easier with practice?
Apparently not in the game of love.
xoxo
And then I thought, "Or am I...?"
Ever since the first breakup tears left my little blue eyes in 6th grade, it's never really gotten easier, mostly just harder. And it seems I'm becoming more and more alone in crying those breakup tears.
[Disclaimer: I've happily not cried breakup tears in a while. Like, at least a couple weeks, and they were light.]
Anyway...
Being single means seeing your friends (and, like, everyone else) in multiple-year-long relationships with no breakups, heartache and that whole depression thing. Meanwhile, you're starting and ending your own relationships one or two or eight times in that same span of time. I really AM getting more and more alone in my breakups, heartache, blah blah blah. Aren't things supposed to get easier with practice?
Apparently not in the game of love.
xoxo
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Free Stuff Reloaded
Okay I take it back. I spoke too soon. Singles (women at least) get all kinds of free stuff. Just in the past seven days, I have been gifted:
*Free brunch
*Free white wine
*Free cocktail
*Free cup of tea
*Free sushi dinner
*Free cover charge paid
*Free french fries
They're small gifts, but they're appreciated, and they remind me why it's not always so bad to be single.
xoxo
*Free brunch
*Free white wine
*Free cocktail
*Free cup of tea
*Free sushi dinner
*Free cover charge paid
*Free french fries
They're small gifts, but they're appreciated, and they remind me why it's not always so bad to be single.
xoxo
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Free Stuff?!
I haven't been able to stop thinking about this today. Free stuff. Presents. Gifts. I think it may be slightly exacerbated for gals, but what does it mean to be single? It means lots of presents, gifts, money and parties! For other people.
Bridal showers, engagement parties, weddings, baby showers. Appliances, appliances everywhere and not a one for me. Where did this come from that people who are getting one of the greatest gifts of all (marriage?) are also getting more gifts? Shouldn't two people joining together already have twice as much stuff as, say, me? I'd love some new towels, maybe a rice cooker or Crockpot, nice new silverware and a muffin pan. But because I'm not getting married, I've not only gotta buy them for myself, but also buy them for everyone else.
Okay this is not ACTUALLY a big deal. All I'm doing is proposing Quarter Life Showers for singles. Because don't we deserve colorful new KitchenAid mixers too?
Bridal showers, engagement parties, weddings, baby showers. Appliances, appliances everywhere and not a one for me. Where did this come from that people who are getting one of the greatest gifts of all (marriage?) are also getting more gifts? Shouldn't two people joining together already have twice as much stuff as, say, me? I'd love some new towels, maybe a rice cooker or Crockpot, nice new silverware and a muffin pan. But because I'm not getting married, I've not only gotta buy them for myself, but also buy them for everyone else.
Okay this is not ACTUALLY a big deal. All I'm doing is proposing Quarter Life Showers for singles. Because don't we deserve colorful new KitchenAid mixers too?
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Bitter or Better?
This is going to be a tough blog. I'm doing it for myself as sort of an early new year's resolution. Maybe it won't even last that long, but judging by the last 27 years, it could go on for miles.
I've done an incredible amount of self reflection over the past couple weeks. I'm working on finding an understanding of what I've been struggling with over the past several years: what does it mean to be single in this age of social networking?
Every romantic relationship you're in today is public. Too public. Frighteningly public. And the relationships you aren't in are, unfortunately, just as public (if only just to yourself). Photograph after photograph of new couples, happy couples, engaged couples, married couples, expectant couples, forever couples. Anecdotes so saccharine you are sure you must gouge your eyes out after reading them. Blogs wholly dedicated to that wonderful, blissful life of love and marriage. Precious pictures of precious progeny doing preciously, pitifully ordinary things. And why? Is this a competition? Who has the cutest engagement pose? Whose wedding venue was most extravagant? Which nude newborn baby has the bubbliest tush and poutiest lips? People were never this prideful ten years ago. Five years ago, even. I'm not a religious person, but I'm familiar with those deadly sins, and it seems that big P-word is taking over with a vengeance.
So what does it mean when you're a single? Well, in today's social atmosphere, it means you're either trying to get the marrieds to feel sorry for you, you're trying to crack jokes about everything or, hopefully, you're trying your damnedest to find out why you're single and why it's fabulous. I'd always wanted the marrieds and the couples to feel sorry for me, going through life on my own. Coming home to an quiet studio apartment. Sleeping in an empty bed. Eating alone. Snuggling on the sofa solo. Taking trips by myself. Going shopping with no one. For years on end...
And then, it hit me. These are not bad things in the least. A quiet studio all to myself? How incredible! All my own stuff; my own decorations, scents, messes, sounds, food, drinks: it's all mine. An empty bed? How freeing! I can sleep diagonally, with covers, without covers, toss and turn all I want, snore, stretch out, run in my sleep. Eating alone? Delicious! No one to tell me what to make, how to make it, that it's bad, that it's cold, that it's boring. Chips and salsa for dinner? Why the hell not? Nothing I don't want, everything I do. Snuggling on the sofa solo? Divine! No unwanted channel surfing, not too loud or too quiet, nothing I don't want to watch, everything I do; no scrunching up, no leg cramps, just freedom all around. Trips by myself? Perfect! Only one plane ticket means a fraction of the cost, go wherever, whenever, however. And shopping with no one? I wouldn't want it any other way! I decide what I need, how much to spend, where to go, when to go. Is this what it means to be single? Why aren't we all then?
Well, because of course singledom has its drawbacks. But we can discuss that later. For right now, I have to do whatever the hell I want.
xoxo
I've done an incredible amount of self reflection over the past couple weeks. I'm working on finding an understanding of what I've been struggling with over the past several years: what does it mean to be single in this age of social networking?
Every romantic relationship you're in today is public. Too public. Frighteningly public. And the relationships you aren't in are, unfortunately, just as public (if only just to yourself). Photograph after photograph of new couples, happy couples, engaged couples, married couples, expectant couples, forever couples. Anecdotes so saccharine you are sure you must gouge your eyes out after reading them. Blogs wholly dedicated to that wonderful, blissful life of love and marriage. Precious pictures of precious progeny doing preciously, pitifully ordinary things. And why? Is this a competition? Who has the cutest engagement pose? Whose wedding venue was most extravagant? Which nude newborn baby has the bubbliest tush and poutiest lips? People were never this prideful ten years ago. Five years ago, even. I'm not a religious person, but I'm familiar with those deadly sins, and it seems that big P-word is taking over with a vengeance.
So what does it mean when you're a single? Well, in today's social atmosphere, it means you're either trying to get the marrieds to feel sorry for you, you're trying to crack jokes about everything or, hopefully, you're trying your damnedest to find out why you're single and why it's fabulous. I'd always wanted the marrieds and the couples to feel sorry for me, going through life on my own. Coming home to an quiet studio apartment. Sleeping in an empty bed. Eating alone. Snuggling on the sofa solo. Taking trips by myself. Going shopping with no one. For years on end...
And then, it hit me. These are not bad things in the least. A quiet studio all to myself? How incredible! All my own stuff; my own decorations, scents, messes, sounds, food, drinks: it's all mine. An empty bed? How freeing! I can sleep diagonally, with covers, without covers, toss and turn all I want, snore, stretch out, run in my sleep. Eating alone? Delicious! No one to tell me what to make, how to make it, that it's bad, that it's cold, that it's boring. Chips and salsa for dinner? Why the hell not? Nothing I don't want, everything I do. Snuggling on the sofa solo? Divine! No unwanted channel surfing, not too loud or too quiet, nothing I don't want to watch, everything I do; no scrunching up, no leg cramps, just freedom all around. Trips by myself? Perfect! Only one plane ticket means a fraction of the cost, go wherever, whenever, however. And shopping with no one? I wouldn't want it any other way! I decide what I need, how much to spend, where to go, when to go. Is this what it means to be single? Why aren't we all then?
Well, because of course singledom has its drawbacks. But we can discuss that later. For right now, I have to do whatever the hell I want.
xoxo
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